What Do You Consider Cheating?: Love, Relationships, and Outsiders
First, let me begin by saying that cheating is exactly what it sounds like, cheating. To cheat is to mislead or to defraud. A relationship is defined by the people that are within that relationship and those two people make rules for that joint venture, if one deviates from said rules than it is called cheating.
I remember the most poignant thing I heard an older woman say was, "It wasn't the fact that he may have not wanted to be with me anymore(I can deal with that), it was the fact that he cheating and lied, and I wasn't able to make my own decision(to accept or reject his behavior), because I was unaware. I could have dealt with him not wanting to be with me anymore, but I couldn't deal with him making it out to seem as if I'm crazy because I suspect something is wrong and he continue to lie." That's what it is genuinely like to be cheated on, when someone takes away your right to make a decision based on their behavior because they lie about their actions. You are cheated out of the truth and you have to deal with the consequences of their heinous actions rather it be humiliation, constant paranoia or even an STD.
It is my belief that sex outside of a relationship is not cheating. The primary reason I believe sex is not cheating is because there is a difference between a dude f^cking your girl and your girl f^cking a dude.
However, this occasion is completely different. Example: If I've d!cked you down the entire summer and leave for my school year, I don't believe you or myself for that matter should be left sexless. Going from getting put to sleep and can barely get any sleep is a big transition and we all have needs. I am a confident/secure man, I understand that our relationship is greater than just sex. I understand that we can differentiate between sex and love, or sex and commitment/allegiance. Therefore, I can clearly understand the difference between a guy f^cking my girl and my girl f^cking a guy. Here's the difference in a formula sequence:
My Girl is Horny+Seduced By Another Guy+Not to My Knowledge=Guy F^cking My Girl/Cheating
My Girl is Horny+Informs Me of Such Decision+Seduces/Agrees to Have Sex with Guy=My Girl F^cking a Guy
We formed a new religion,
No sins as long as there's permission.
And deception is the only felony,
So never f^ck nobody without telling me.
Such behavior doesn't make you weak or a swinger, it possibly can show maturity or full comprehension to the fact that we all have needs/desires that must be fulfilled. But both parties can also come to the decision that they won't ever have sex outside the relationship, I am a strong and avid fan of monogamy, yet I am not naive. We will forever be physically attracted to others that may not be our significant others and we make conscience decisions not to act on those impulses, but please don't mix emotional/committed monogamy with fulfilling of one of our basic needs/desires.
If you really want to be a forward thinker don't perform all of the same things you do with the outsider that you do with your real partner like head, anal, unprotected sex, facials, spending the night, etc.
For simple and square men/women this concept has continued to perplex and confuzzle them until their brains have turned to mush and their egos have shrunken to the size of sun-dried raisins. I know many of you will not agree, but what is a discussion if everyone does.
What do you consider cheating? Could you handle a fully emotionally committed yet sexually open relationship? Have you ever cheated? Did you come clean or are you taking it to the grave? Do think this blog was complete and utter bullsh!t for man/woman that just wants to f^ck other women and have a main?
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posted by theSUNK at
11:16 PM
6 Comments:
Not informing your partner first
Had One And It suck So Bad because they took it over board
Yes
Yes and thing went bad, he seen it as a way to fuck up
yes Again and i'm keeping it to myself dis time because I know he an't handle it
No I think it's cool for people with a long distance relationship or just having a lil trouble in their relationship
I Honestly Think That 89.99 Of Americans Cheat
Sex is natural but it is by no stretch of the imagination a need (outside of the realm of procreating and the continued existence of the human species but since 9.9 times out of 10, we don't use sex for that purpose...), sorry. Nor is it a sign of "maturity" that you'd be ok with the person you share your body with, sharing their body with someone else. That may be your choice and how you and your boo-thang choose to operate in your relationship (which is perfectly fine as long as all parties agree) but a sign of maturity...not so much.
@LadyNgo Well, I didnt say having sex outside the relationship is a sign of maturity at all. I said being able to differentiate between nsa(lust, outside sex) and love is a sign of maturity.
I said I have no problem with monogamy and I understand when it is useful.
@FreshPinkPussy You want to take it to the grave, why not give your partner the option to stay or to leave, after all "you are the one that cheated?"
I think that as long as the sex is purely physical, then it can work just fine. It is emotional cheating, or developing feelings and a relationship with someone outside of the original relationship, that i really believe causes the issues. And like you said, it needs to be an honest and open decision. If the person is "just fucking" but wasn't upfront about it, then you're just a liar.
Q: What do you consider cheating?
A: Taking everything that you do in a relationship with that person you love, and doing it with someone else... SEX, mental, physical... ETC
Q: Could you handle a fully emotionally committed yet sexually open relationship?
A: NO, I am the jealous type I want my man to myself and NO ONE ELSE... This is why I couldn't do a 3 sum.
Q: Have you ever cheated? Did you come clean or are you taking it to the grave?
A: Yes. He found out by reading emails and texts. I was really relived because i didn't know how to tell him, so when he found out I was honest about everything.
Q: Do think this blog was complete and utter bullsh!t for man/woman that just wants to f^ck other women and have a main?
A: Nope, I think people should talk about this things more, instead of leaving it unspoken. People have different morals, views and values. So this might help them understand better what it is they want out of a relationship.
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