Dining Etiquette for Gold Diggers

GoldDiggers want Ballers. Whether these ballers are NBA stars, faces on the big screen, or those men making six figures under the radar. Maybe he wants to take you serious and wants to wine and dine you before he puts his seed inside of you. You should at least be able to get through dinner, before he notices the hoodrat that you truly are. If you wanna be a hoodrat/golddigger turned housewife, be the best you can be. Even though in some cases it might blossom in a hotel room, dating starts at the dinner table...


The Napkin Goes in Your Lap
When you sit down the first thing you do is place the napkin in your lap. If the napkin is large, fold it in half. If not then place the napkin open on those luscious thighs of yours.

Dab
A civilized woman dabs her mouth when there is food in a place that it shouldn't be. Not to mention a man finds the dabbing motion sexy.

Eat Chicken with a Fork and Knife
It doesn't matter what they taught at KFC or in the backyard of your kinfolks house. Chicken with the bone in is to be eaten with a knife and a fork. Once the amount of meat on the bone is to the point where knife and fork won't suffice, this is when you can use your hands.

Eat Spaghetti/Linguine with Fork and Spoon
Long noodle pastas are to be eaten with a fork and spoon, so that you are not seen slurping like an unsightly beast. No matter how good your fellatio skills are this is neither the place or time to slurp your dinner, be a lady.

No Interceptions
"Can you pass the salt?" The first thing you do is sprinkle some salt on your food before you pass it, smh. Don't intercept requests. If a person asks for something, you have to wait until they are done using it then you can do as you please. It's rude to delay someone something they ask for, because you want to use it before they do.

Don't Talk With Food In Your Mouth
This should be a no brainer, but please don't talk with a full mouth. Unless you are in this situation ---> click here.

Seasoning Before Tasting is a No-No
One time I went out with this hoodrat and she seasoned her four-star chinese food before she even took one bite. After her rice was left floating in a pool of soy sauce I knew what I had taken out to eat- a hoodrat. Seasoning before you taste is not only an insult to the chef, but a tell-tell sign of ratchetness.

Do Not Smack
Keep your mouth closed when you chew. Your new money cow, doesn't need to hear a soundtrack to the first stage of digestion. Tonight the only thing that needs to be smacked is a$$.

Scoop Away From You
When we eat soup we scoop away from ourselves. This will decrease the possibility of spilling soup on yourself and show your baller man that you have some class about you.

Leave Your Phone in Your Purse
It's rude to check your phone while you are on a date, unless you ask or this is acceptable behavior between you and your suitor. If you absolutely must check your booty calls and exes old attempts at rekindling, do so by excusing yourself to the ladies room.

Was this list helpful? Have you ever found yourself breaking some of these rules? What was your worst dinner date? Do you think people still care about proper dining etiquette? Is a man or woman that table manners a turn-on? Did this bring you one step closer to being the best Gold Digger you can be?

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