How to Properly Receive an Education

These are the Unwritten Rules to Receiving the Drool…

Be Clean, Smell Clean

Say it out loud, “Thou shall not smell like I just ran across the Saharan Desert, killed wildebeest, and swam in sinking sand before I laid down in my girl’s bed anticipating a blowjizzle (Yeah I Said It). That is nasty, you know what the stanky ball smell is brother, do the world a favor and cleanse yourself. If you don’t, the only lady you might be getting attention from is Lady Five Fingers, ya dig.

Make Sure You Don’t Have to Fart

You may laugh and think "man this dude crazy as hell", but I'm dead serious. There is no more awkward feeling than getting some good knowledge, while simultaneously squenching your azz cheeks because you have to let one go. What makes it even funnier is the fact that they think you’re doing it because their head is the bomb. #fail

Turn Your Phone Off

You don’t go into a job interview with your phone on do you? So why go into the bedroom with it on? This is serious business; this time is intimate between you and your partner.

I even made the mistake of having my phone on while receiving a BJ, and along came the vibrating ring tone of Usher’s “Can You Handle It?” Needless to say I got cursed out, she stormed out, and I was left there hanging- literally.

Shy Chicks Don’t Like to Be Looked At

Shy Chicks will give you hell about looking at them, while they perform fellatio. “Stop looking at me, I’m Shy. You sit there thinking “Riiiiiight, whatever you say honey.” This brings me to my next point…

Never Ever…Never Ever Say “I’m About to Cum!?”

If you and your girl ain’t new to this, but true to this, more power to you. If you are messing with one of those cum dodgers or head bobbers, you shouldn’t say one word. Just squeeze your legs to negate all the “I’m About to Explode” movements and spray the back of her throat like a shaken soda pop. I call this the “full effect” method. I’m talking bout when you get there, your feet raise off the floor and you grab anything close to you, hence hand full o’ hair, sheets, back of your thighs.

What are some other rules for Receiving Fellatio? What was your worst experience receiving or giving head?

Let’s Talk, because Good Head Saves Lives