Lion Cheetahs (Lying A$$ Cheaters)

This world is full of a$$holes, losers, bullsh!tters, and most importantly lion a$$ cheaters. They make life that much harder for the sane people that cohabitate the earth with them. “How much easier life could be?”, I ask myself daily. However, I have come to the realization that like taxes (who likes taxes) they're not going anywhere, so we must be able to identify their kind. Thus the four type of Lion A$$ Cheaters from bad to worse:

The Emo (Emotional) is most likely a woman. Emo cheaters come to your house to talk about their problems or not, cuddle, sleep and  fingerf^ck, but she definitely will not go the distance. Why? “Because she doesn’t cheat on her man?!” GTFOH. Women kill me with this one, if you are gaining gratification from a person other than your partner that can be rectified/also done by them than your cheating. Ex. say your in a healthy relationship, with a person that demonstrate secure attachment (take out your psych book) - if anything you do would upset or make them uncomfortable your f^cking cheating.

The Involuntary most likely is a woman, too. Her p^ssy just happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. She is taken advantage of and manhandled by a playa, when she most likely is in her most vulnerable state hence drunk, horny, and lonely. She doesn’t do this very often; she didn’t even have the slightest inclination that she would cheat besides the warm, hot hum residing between her thighs. For that reason alone she usually doesn’t really participate in the sexual act, she just gets pummeled. If she doesn’t actively ride her selected pole of pleasure, she believes she isn’t guilty. She is a prudent freak.

The Avenger is not Iron Man, Captain America, or The Hulk. No, the Avenger is one who cheats because they have been cheated or done wrong. They would rather “get some and get even” than “forgive, f^ck, and forget”. Many people don’t condone cheating, but letting your partner get even after you’ve done wrong has proved to either salvage or make things worse. The problem is that sometimes when people attempt to get even they realize they didn’t really want to get even or never want to go back. These are the most volatile and usually most freaky of cheaters, but they often times regret what they do. Along with such great advice here's a complimentary video:

Last but definitely worst is the Habitual, there is absolutely no reason this mothaf^cka should even claim monogamy or vow to long commitments. They are the epitome of what is wrong with love. They are like placeholders, holding the place of real mothaf^cking men or women that could be the other halves of real loving and caring relationships. Honestly, most habitual cheaters are men and they need to get their sh!t together.

Lately, we‘ve ripped Tiger a new a$$hole along with comedians, the media, and definitely bloggers (who am I to point fingers), but many tried to act as if cheating was new. Similarly, we have Mo’Nique confess in an interview that she is in an open marriage.

Nonetheless, do you believe monogamy is possible? Or would you rather be in an open relationship and spread your seed?

The broad I mean the board is yours, keyboard that is…