Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Do You Like This P^ssy: Reasons Why Men Should Talk During Sex


This past memorial weekend, my boy and I walked along the Lake to spot bad broads, big booties, and whatever lied in between. Towards the walk back to the car I overheard two women discussing sex; this red-bond chick with short hair said, "He doesn't say anything to make me cum." So the sex was good, but not as good as it could have been. She was f^cking a man that lacked a sense of imagination, which inspired me to write Do You Like This P^ssy: Reasons Why Men Should Talk During Sex:


1. She Wants to Know That Your Enjoying It
  Women have egos just like guys do. She wants to know she has that sticky, sweet nectar between her legs or that she's riding you like your d!ck is about to go out of style. How does she know you like what mama's got if you f^cking her like you took a vow of silence? "Say it with your chest" (Kevin Hart voice)

2. It Turns Her On
  Not only does she want to know that she's doing her job right, it makes her horny pleasing you. Her p^ssy will get wetter when you talk sh!t, if you say the right thing she might even squirt on yo a$$ like a 90's super soaker with the big backpack.

3. Men Don't Moan Very Much
  So you think it's gay to moan- well step your sextalk game up. Whisper sweet nothings, tell her something she wants to her. Tell her to "bring that a$$ back" or when you pound it call her a "Whining ass b!tch". Be imaginative, if all else fails listen to my boy Wesley Pipes(pornstar known for talking the most sh!t, black as hell, has two guns on his torso) and tune whatever he says down to 5 notches.

4. It's Fun When You Say the Right Sh!t
  You can be playful when you talk, it doesn't always have to be super mothaf^cking sexy; compliment her, tease her, enjoy her sexually. Make her comfortable, sex is not exactly the time and place to play the Quiet Game.

5. Motivate Your D!ck
  If all else fails don't think about her- talk sh!t to motivate your d!ck. So all that freaky sh!t us as guys say in our heads, let that sh!t out and say it to her. Be your own motivational speaker in the bedroom.

Examples:
I know you like that d!ck.
You like how I'm beating that shit.
I'm all in yo guts.
Stop Running... Stop Running.
Where do you want me to bus this n^t at?
Who's pussy is it? (dont ask if you're not sure)
What's....my mothaf^cking name?(Oldie but goodie)

What NOT to DO
1. Don't talk too low. (the worse thing you can do is inspire a HUH moment in the bedroom.)
2. Don't be afraid to repeat yourself.

3. Put Some bass in your voice, sound sexy.

4. Stay away from sh!t that could kill the mood. (You should already know what those may be)

5. Don't say anything, that you're not doing.
(You're D!ck really should be doing the talking, don't embarrass yourself by talking sh!t that you aren't backing up. The proof will not be in the pudding, but in the pu$$y. If your talking mad sh!t and she's getting dry; you are definitely writing checks, that your dick cannot cash.)


Bonus: 10 Top Things the Hallway(me, Creator of theSUNK.com) says while having sex
Let That Sh!t Out
What Was All That Sh!t You Was Talking?
I Thought You Wanted This D!Ck, Why You Running?
Make That D!ck Disappear
Put That Sh!t On Yo Lips
Yo Stomach Gone Hate Me
I Told You I Wasn't Bullsh!tting
Damn, That P^ssy Dripping/Leaking/Talking
Imma Spell My Name in That P^ssy(while eating out)
It Feels So Good I Could Bus Right Now, But idontwanna

Well, there you have it. Motivate the p^ssy fellas, women like excitement. They want to hear not only what's on your mind, but about what's on your d!ck. Try it out, and see if you can actually make her cum this time. I'm Out.

What's the craziest thing you're partner has ever said/done while you two were having sex? What's the dumbest thing you've ever said while having sex? Are you quiet or loud in the bedroom? What position makes you talk the most sh!t? Can you back up the sh!t that you say? Put His/Her Ass on Blast, if they talked this big game, only to choke(not in a good way) when you got to the bedroom?

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Brittany (Ferdy) said...

I like this one it is SO true and never a problem I had with "My Great Summer Love" part of wat made me want to go all in, I dont like talkin more shit than the guy does. Thats a BIG problem

June 7, 2011 at 7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW

I am a female and I LOVE IT!!!!!!

I need to send this to my man so he can get it together

June 7, 2011 at 7:48 PM  
Anonymous B. said...

Yes. Yes. Yes, PLEASE.

June 8, 2011 at 10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo! " inspire a HUH moment". Trill shit!

June 19, 2011 at 1:35 AM  
Blogger tawnydelux said...

I like when he talks to me...

when me and he first had sex he said "i am inside u and it was just like i imagined"
(we went to hs together)

I think I melted thru the bed....

but I tell dudes talk to the pussy she talk back

August 10, 2012 at 2:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this!! Talking shit def turns me on. My boo always asks me "whose pussy is it?" while hitting it from the back and that shit makes me go crazy. Thinking about it now is making me wet. Good job with this post.

November 1, 2012 at 11:17 PM  

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