Five Reasons to Shoot Mama's New Boyfriend

The full version to Kanye West's song "Mama's New Boyfriend" just dropped. Coincidentally, my mother just got a boyfriend or whatever you want to call it and I can honestly say I'm not enthused. Sometimes, I wish my mother was gay and I could try and steal her girlfriends, but that's just wishful thinking. Nonetheless, I'm tired of seeing this n!gga already and I've only been home three weeks. Therefore, I wrote Five Reasons to Shoot Mama's New Boyfriend:

He Ate All the Food
  How the f^ck you gone come to my house and eat up all the food? You want food bring that sh!t with you or take moms out. Because if you eat the last of the baked Mac 'n Cheese again I'mma have to unload the clip on your hungry a$$.

Two Men Should Not Be Under a Roof Together
  It just doesn't work, I don't want to see another grown man in the house other than my father, bro or a mothaf^cka that's coming to fix something. If you have your own house, go there. A woman in my opinion should always go to the man's house, especially if that said man lives alone.

I Should've Never Heard You Have Sex
  (I will just leave this one as is.)

I'm a Prisoner in My Own Home
  When another man is in the house you don't even want to leave your room. If you gotta p!ss, you hold it. If you're hungry, you don't think about it. The only time you leave your room is to leave the house. Not to mention, I don't feel comfortable walking around the house with no shirt when some unknown a$$ dude is in the crib.

You Trying to Get Cool with Me Annoys Me

  We don't have to converse about the latest news or sports outcomes. You ain't gotta know how sh!t is going with me. Keep it moving, I don't need companionship from the guy that's f^cking my mom, I'll pass. You say "what up", I say "what up". The End.

Sidenote: Stop Bringing That Dude Up

  I need a job. You say "insert name might have some position at his insert job"

  I say I'm going running. You say "insert name runs, you should run with him"

  I need help with something. You say "insert name might know about how to do that. Lemme call him.

F^ck that. STOP BRINGING THAT N!GGA UP, this guy couldn't possibly be relevant to our every f^cking conversation.

However, I want to see my moms happy, I am no c0ckbl0cker. But that sh!t makes me uncomfortable and I still think all dating should go on at the guy's house, especially if he is a grown a$$ man. Glad I got this off my chest though and I'm out, peace.

How do you feel about your parent dating? Does your mother's/father's boyfriend/girlfriend annoy you? What do you do when he/she comes over? Have you ever heard your parents have sex? How did that sh!t make you feel? What did you do to drown out the noise? How did it feel the next time you saw your parent? Do you want to see your mother/father happy at the cost of some of your comfort? Just comment God D@mn It, even if it's just to say hi.

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