No Tongs Only a Tongue: Toss Her Salad

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Eddie Griffin once said, “How many of ya’ll eat ass? *quiet* Am I the only one? *quiet* How many of ya’ll eat p^ssy? *screams* Ya’ll mothafuckas lying, if ya’ll eat p^ssy right ya’ll gonna slip up on some ass.” The anus is pleasure chest of its own. Once you get past just having sex and into having an experience, you're going to eat her ass. And when you do she's gonna love you for it. Matter of fact she's going to adore you. She's going to tell all her friends about you. They're going to save their money  just to build a statue of you in the heart of whatever city you reside in. If that's not enough here's a few more reasons Why should you toss her salad?:
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Just Tell Me the Truth: How to Deal with a Liar

Everyone has dealt with a liar before. You have people in your life right now that lie about things that aren't even worth lying about. They could have a hand full of skittles and you'll ask 'em what they're snacking on, they will lie and say M&Ms on some pathologically lying type sh!t. Sometimes it's not even worth dealing with a liar or entertaining their insults of your intelligence. However there are times it is required that you know the truth. In those cases you have to pick the best time to drill a liar and get the information you need out of them. So these are three of the best times to ask a liar the truth:
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Have You Heard of "Pearling"?

Recently or rather unfortunately I was perusing these tough and obscure internet streets, I happened to go to one of my favorite adult sites. There I saw a chick engaging in sex with a guy that seemed to have the worse Herpes outbreak in Herpes' illustrious history. However, after further inspection(rewinding and pausing) I realized that it wasn't an STD. It should had been a mental illness, because no man would have done what he did to his penis if he wasn't missing a few screws, bolts, etc. What was it? It was something called "pearling", if you don't know what pearling is maybe you should read this blog.
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Fat Girl Lovin'- 6 Reasons Why Sex with a Fat Girl is Better

Today, we're not going to refer to fat girls as BBW, more-to-love, big girls, plus sized or any of that other sh!t that people other than fat girls deem more politically correct. I f*cking love fat girls. Those proportional fat girls with tanks asses that change the course of the Earth's path around the Sun. Titties so heavy they make bras straps weep on the regular with the groove marks on the shoulders to prove it. Soft, warm and glowing...Flirtatious and freaky than a mothafucka, my d!ck gets hard just thinking about a fat chick I can worship. Here's Fat Girl Lovin'- 6 Reasons Why Sex with a Fat Girl is Better:

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15 Things Good P*ssy Can Do

So it was only a matter of time before 15 Things Good P*ssy Can Do had to be written, actually a year later after 15 Things Good D!ck Can Do. Within that year I've had some good p*ssy however there is also an alarming rate of wack box that inspired 6 Signs You Have Insecure P*ssy, a disease that is plaguing this great American country and even other places in the world. But f*ck it let us not focus on the negatives that suck the morale out of our bedrooms but rather on, 15 Things Good Pussy Can Do:
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The Thrill is Gone: I Crushed My Crush

You're never too old for a crush. You're never too grown to fawn over a sexy specimen, that seemed to have been specifically engineered by the hand's of God for your own personal consumption. Being shy and horny while looking at someone you think you'd never have is what life is all about. Crushing your crush and the thrill leaving the room shortly after like a smell grown accustomed to by a set of moist nostrils is also what life is about.
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So You Wanna Try Anal?

If you let your man do anal, chances are you're really feeling him. Anal is a rare occurrence for the average fornicator. You have some women that only prefer anal and it doesn't matter as much if they let a guy do it, but these women are hard to find. This blog is for you, the beginner, that wants to try anal someday and for the others that cringe at the mere mention of anal. So You Wanna Try Anal?
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Men Have Always Been Better Cheaters

Women cheat. Men cheat. However, when you listen to the radio or watch comedians run their routines, you always hear people say women are better cheaters. Don't believe them. When it comes to cheating men have all the power and less of the consequences. Since the dawn of infidelity Men Have Always Been Better Cheaters:

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Make Her Thirst: How to Be a Male Tease in the Bedroom?

My last post was entitled, "Foreplay Isn't Just for Married Couples," when wrote that I realized that men don't know how to be teases. However, if you are to be a beast in the bedroom, how can you not be a tease? Arousal not stimulation is your biggest weapon against a woman's p^ssy. The build-up and anticipation of receiving makes a woman helpless. Today I will tell you(men and for the women that are reading send it to your man *share button*)...How to Be a Male Tease:
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Overnight Visitor: Make Your Home Feel Like Her Home, For the Night

True players are always prepared for overnight visitors. They know that if the date goes well they have to make their visitor feel at home. The goal is to make her never want to leave. Leaving should be out of necessity, not out of want or desire. When she's over your house the world should be vacant of responsibilities and obligations. Here is what you need to Make Your Home Feel Like Her Home:

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MackVice: It Looks Like It Stopped Growing in the 5th Grade

One of my followers on Twitter  wanted to ask for my advice on her perfect man with less than perfect lovemaking skills. Here's the email that she(rather remain anonymous) sent and the MackVice I gave her:
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Bloody Lovers: Period Sex

Everybody lies about not having period sex-women say "Eww...that's nasty!" and men say "Hell, naw I ain't bout that life". I am here to tell you most of us whom have great sex lives have said, "f^ck it" and got busy on the last spotty day or even worst, near the onset of the period. It's just a little blood. Even though I can agree period sex is usually reserved for the experienced and couples that have been together for a good amount of time. Here are 6 Reasons Why Period Sex Could Be For You:
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You Ain't Cum? That's Your Fault

There are plenty of men that want poonani, but don't know what to do with it when they get it. They brag about how they'll nail you to cross and have your toes curling(corny). Then you make it to the bedroom and he bought condoms that were to big for him, he couldn't eat the box, and his stroke was wack. Then you have guys like me that don't have to brag about sex- I've made so many women squirt I thought they did that on the regular, I've put so many women to sleep doctors call me before they perform surgery, and I've made so many women tremble the government blamed DC's earthquake on me. With that being said, I will do everything in my power to make a woman cum, EVERYTHING. Sometimes I don't always make them cum rather it was because of bad chemistry, leftover d!ck or whatever...and sometimes if You Ain't Cum, That's Your Fault...4 Reasons Why You Can't Blame a Man for Not Making You Cum

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Are You Ms. Pretty P^ssy?

Many women brag about how good their pussy is, how wet it is, how clean it is, and how tight it is. These are all good things. However, just from a sense of aesthetics I don't believe women actually know what men consider an attractive looking p^ssy. What makes the way your vagina looks more attractive or inviting than the next woman? Can you truly crown your p^ssy better than the others? Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy?
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Somebody's Baby: The Cougar Crusher

We had to be having a heatwave in Chicago this particular week. Every Monday I make my usual run to Unique's Thrift store on 32 & Halsted. I was there trying to find an all white outfit for this white party at the Mason's Lodge. I was in the men's suit aisle when this woman ask me how she looked in this sombrero hat she was trying on, I said ,"Its all crunched up on your head like a fucking tortilla." She said, "No, it's not it looks like I was riding a horse." I replied, "More like you got trampled by some horses." We laughed in unison. The conversation died down and she walked off.
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Five Reasons to Shoot Mama's New Boyfriend

The full version to Kanye West's song "Mama's New Boyfriend" just dropped. Coincidentally, my mother just got a boyfriend or whatever you want to call it and I can honestly say I'm not enthused. Sometimes, I wish my mother was gay and I could try and steal her girlfriends, but that's just wishful thinking. Nonetheless, I'm tired of seeing this n!gga already and I've only been home three weeks. Therefore, I wrote Five Reasons to Shoot Mama's New Boyfriend:

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Civilized Men Eat People: The Guide to Eating P^ssy, Preview

Picture found at my girl @tribecalledcree tumblr.

...Pushing your legs back, until your pussy faces the ceiling,

and my tongue is caught between the crosshairs of your clit and lips.

Can you see my eyes looking back up at you?

While you anticipate my tongue dancing on your clit,

Should I moonwalk on it like the King of Pop (Michael Jackson)?

And take it slow and easy.

Or Should I cut the rug like the King of Soul (James Brown)?

And let my tongue be fast and erratic.

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