Sunday, July 3, 2011

Civilized Men Eat People: The Guide to Eating P^ssy I- The Floor is Wet

Seagram Vodka, Papaya Juice, Truth and Dare, Horny Youth- they always seem to mix. We sat around the table laughing, petting, and talking random sh!t. We all discussed previous sexual experiences and wants to f^ck, however throughout this engagement I realized that I wouldn't be getting an ounce of p^ssy that night. So whatever that was in-between no action and hitting, I was down for...

Truth or Dare...
Dare.
Suck _____'s titty.
Truth or Dare...
Dare.
Kiss ______ passionately, while you fondle her clit.
Truth or Dare...
Dare.
Lick ______'s clit.

On a more rational of nights, I probably wouldn't have gone along with this dare. But like I said I wanted to get as close to f^cking as I could. So I ushered her to the kitchen floor, in plane view. She was thick thighed, almond colored with skin as smooth as any nut butter. Her full lips painted with hot pink lipstick. Horny yet reluctant, she really didn't believe I was going to give her the chow. I pulled her shorts and panties until they were strecthed around her ankles. She spread her legs. While one embarrassed and drunk hand hid her eyes and intoxicated grin. I relaxed her- kissing her inner thighs, and licking around the crease of her ass and thigh, quickly turning that grin into a feeble lip bite. Spreading her thin and delicate p^ssy lips, I licked the pink of her. Then I licked her teased amd anxious clit, she let out a soft moan. She wanted to push me off, but I refused. I tongue-assaulted her for about to five seconds until she gave in...

Guide to Eating P^ssy Technique I: The Up and Over
  Lick her clit/pussy with the flat or full of your tongue; up then over and repeat. Lick her clit up and over like you were trying to loc her sh!t, but the only thing that's going to lock is her legs, if you lick and suck on her p^ssy right. Start off slow. Press your tongue against her pearl as if you were tryna to force your tongue inside of her. Imitate the way a woman would masturbate. If she's enjoying it too much, tease her. Go slow and jerk your tongue up and over, and I'm sure if she doesn't cum on your tongue she will cum on your d!ck.

I continued to lick her, she palmed my head and squeezed her toes. I began to finger her and thumbed her wet anus... Her p^ssy gush and squeaked. She had snuck a nut in on me, she had came all over the kitchen floor, and had my goatee dripping. Like a dog I lapped the rest of the juice from her pink cavern, it tasted like fresh spring water. I had never tasted squirt so good, it was lukewarm, no odor, no flavor yet it was gratifying and delicious...I smiled and taunted her for cumming so quick (about 5-7 minutes). I got up...*wiping her horny-proofed brew off my face*

What was the craziest thing you've ever done because you were drunk? Are you more aroused when you're tipsy? Have you ever had sex in the kitchen? Can your man use tips on giving chow?Do you believe women can give better head than men? What was your biggest regret sexually after a drunken night?

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Amy M said...

Q: What was the craziest thing you've ever done because you were drunk?
A: The craziest thing I have ever done while drunk was let a girl eat it after I finished pee'ing lmao.

Q: Are you more aroused when you're tipsy?
A: HELL YES! I don't know what it is but I get the most horniest when I am tipsy.

Q: Have you ever had sex in the kitchen?
A: Yes I have I was bent over the stove.

Q: Can your man use tips on giving chow?
A: Yes, well at times. Sometimes its the bomb and other times I'd rather just have sex.

Q:Do you believe women can give better head than men?
A: Yes. All you're doing with a penis is putting it in your mouth and if you have technique moving your tongue and lips around it. With the pum pum its a bit more difficult b.c you have to find the right spot.

Q: What was your biggest regret sexually after a drunken night?
A: This is something I always thought I would be able to lock in the back of my head but having a 3 sum with another girl and guy. It wasn't planned but we were all drunk from drinking Ciroc straight smh

July 3, 2011 at 11:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What was the craziest thing you've ever done because you were drunk? give a blow job outside of a car parked on the side of the belt parkway in bklyn

Are you more aroused when you're tipsy? not more aroused just less inhibited

Have you ever had sex in the kitchen? yup, last time i was cleaning chicken in the sink, he came behind me, pulled panties down, bit the back of my neck, told me "ima spit on my dick and fuck you right here" and proceeded to do so

Can your man use tips on giving chow? yea, sometimes he is good at it and other times i'm wondering if he is the same dude...

Do you believe women can give better head than men? every single woman that has tasted my sweet spot has given me an orgasm every time they did it.. the men, not so much so my vote is for the ladies...

What was your biggest regret sexually after a drunken night? Not MAKING him use a condom
*hangs head in shame*

July 13, 2011 at 2:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Im i da only 1 who got wet, ijs

November 21, 2012 at 6:04 PM  

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