Are You Ms. Pretty P^ssy?

Many women brag about how good their pussy is, how wet it is, how clean it is, and how tight it is. These are all good things. However, just from a sense of aesthetics I don't believe women actually know what men consider an attractive looking p^ssy. What makes the way your vagina looks more attractive or inviting than the next woman? Can you truly crown your p^ssy better than the others? Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy?


Arguably one of the most ignorant songs I have ever heard, Ms. Pretty P^ssy(above) crossed my mind a couple days ago. I was in high school when this song came out and every chick thought their name was "Ms. Pretty P^ssy. Yet, it never dawned on me until today thinking about all the chicks who either didn't like the way their p^ssy looked or didn't know what men believed to be attractive when it comes to p^ssy. It would be easy to believe that any clean p^ssy is attractive, but that's not always true. When my boyz and I discuss p^ssy these are the five things that usually come up when describing a woman's cootama; the lips, the clit, the pinkness, the wetness, and smell.

I. Lips(Labia Minor)- The lips are the pedals of the p^ssy, they shouldn't be loose and raggedy looking(for lack of a better word). They should frame the vagina and not be a distraction. It's hard to explain what they should really look like, but I took my time to use my characters to mimic a perfect set of lips, ({|}) . You have the outer lips and then the inner lips, neither overpowering the other. There are extremes as well though. Like some chicks have the no lip thing going on and we call those the hamburgers without the pattie(looks like Homer Simpson's lips). If you have the Homer Simpson jawn and she shaves, you could be in for a h3ll off an awakening because the new growth usually scrapes against the pen!s. The others have huge labia minors that resemble taco meat and those flappy lips usually rub & indian-burn the penis, while drying out the p^ssy. Unlike others, I actually prefer pronounced labia minors, not exactly flappy minors. I like to suck on 'em and gently pull them away, just to watch 'em snapped back into place.

II. Clit(Clitoris)- Ideally, the clitoris should protrude slightly from the hood. It should be distinguishable when it's erect. It should look like a pearl bead-round and shining. Clits that are small and buried beneath the hood make it somewhat harder to give a tongue lashing. Even though it is an oddity there are some ginormous clits out there as well, most men don't like this but to each his own.

III. The Pink/Slit(Vagina)- Is your pinkness already revealed or do you have to spread the lips in order to see your cotton candy? The pinkness should be displayed somewhat. It should be a peek-a-boo. Shiny with flush a pink, either saying "Come lick me or come fuck me!" If you were already appear to be gaping, well most guys might assume you got pounded out all too often before they met you.

IV. The Consistency of Wetness- After a few initial strokes, what does your wetness look like? I have four groups; the slobbers, the clotters, the like water's, and the thick&creamy's. The Slobbers have a clear gel-like discharge that is silky and slick, resembling slob/mucus hence is why the Perv, the creator of #teampervert, calls some wet p^ssies "slobbers". The Clotters start off thick and clot up like wet dough, but manage to still give a good amount of friction; it remotely resembles a yeast infection but hopefully you can tell the difference(I can). The Like Water's have this very thin watery kind of wetness, that seems to dissipate every so often, this maybe my least favorite. However, my favorites are the Thick&Creamy's their wetness resembles lotion and doesn't dry hardly, this is the cream of the crop. Usually all women start off Thick&Creamy after the first few strokes if you tease them right, but what sets these women apart is that they usually remain this way throughout the entire encounter.

V. The Smell- Smell is on the list because often smell influences how you perceive visual aesthetics. Depending on how inviting your smell is the more attractive your vagina will appear. Most men prefer p^ssy to smell like water; they prefer it to be scentless. However, others like me want their p^ssy to smell like p^ssy. P^ssy has a soft wet fleshlike aroma, it is neither sweet or musty smelling. It's a light, fragile smell like fresh twilight air. It's a scent that as soon as you have been made aware of its presence eludes you.

To sum it up, a pretty p^ssy should have order, yet uniqueness like the most well constructed flower. No vagina looks exactly the same, vaginas are like fingerprints. It's also true to say that all vaginas are created equal, it just depends on the person you're dating because every man or woman(if you're into that...I'd like to watch) is different. I like them big and small, hairy more so than bald, and always wet not dry like a cough.

Now tell me, Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy? What do you believe is an attractive vagina? Have you ever been embarrassed by the way your vagina looks? What number are you on the chart below? How was my attractive vagina criteria(five things)? What do you consider makes an attractive penis? Did I miss something? Suggest a new topic?

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